Watching the 2005 Doctor Who Christmas special.
Lusting after The Doctor.
I think I have a problem.
- The Doctor: My head! [groans in pain] I'm having a neuron implosion... I need...
- Jackie Tyler: What do you need?
- The Doctor: I need...
- Jackie Tyler: Just say it!
- The Doctor: I need...
- Jackie Tyler: Tell me, tell me, tell me!
- The Doctor: I need...
- Jackie Tyler: Painkillers!
- The Doctor: I need...
- Jackie Tyler: D'you need aspirin?
- The Doctor: I need...
- Jackie Tyler: Codeine? Paracetamol? Oh, I dunno, Pepto-Bismol?
- The Doctor: I need...
- Jackie Tyler: Liquid paraffin? Vitamin C, vitamin D, vitamin E?
- The Doctor: I need...
- Jackie Tyler: Is it food? Something simple? Bowl of soup? Nice bowl of soup? Soup and a sandwich? Bowl of soup and a nice ham sandwich?
- The Doctor: I *need* you to *shut up*!
- Jackie Tyler: Oooh, he hasn't changed that much, has he?
- The Doctor: Not bad for a man in his jim jams. Very Arthur Dent. Now, there was a nice man. Although what have I got in here? (pulls a satsuma out of his robe pocket) A satsuma. Ah, that friend of your mother's. He does like his snacks, doesn't he? But doesn't that just sum up Christmas. You go through all those presents and right at the end tucked away in the bottom there's always one stupid old satsuma. (the Sycorax gets up to attack the Doctor, who launches the satsuma at a release mechanism.) No second chances. I'm that sort of a man.
- The Doctor: What do you think, big fella? Are they dead?
- Sycorax Leader: We allow them to live.
- The Doctor: Allow? You have no choice. See, that's all blood control is. Cheap bit of voodoo. Scares the pants off of you but that's as far as it goes. It's like hypnosis. You can hypnotize someone to walk like a chicken or sing like Elvis, you can't hypnotize them to death. Survival instinct's too strong.
- Sycorax Leader: Blood control is just one form of conquest. I can summon the armada and take this world by force.
- The Doctor: Well, yeah, you could, yeah. You could do that, of course you could. But why? Look at these people, these human beings. Consider their potential. From the day they arrive on the planet, blinking step into the sun. There is more to be seen than can ever be seen. More to do than... No, hold on. Sorry, that's the Lion King. But the point still stands. Leave them alone!
- The Doctor: Did you miss me? (the Sycorax leader attacks) You could put someone's eye out with that. You just can't get the staff. Now you, just wait. I'm busy. (turns to his friends) Mickey, hello! And Harriet Jones, MP from Flydale North! Blimey! It's like This Is Your Life! Tea! That's all I needed. A good cup of tea. A superheated infusion of free radicals and tannin. Just the thing for heating the synapses. Now, first thing's first. (to Rose) Be honest. How do I look?
- Rose: Um... different.
- The Doctor: Good different or bad different?
- Rose: Just... different.
- The Doctor: Am I ginger?
- Rose: No, you're just sort of brown.
- The Doctor: I wanted to be ginger! I've never been ginger. And you, Rose Tyler! Fat lot of good you were. You gave up on me! (taken aback) Oo! That's rude. Is that the sort of man I am now? Am I rude? Rude and not ginger.
- Sycorax Leader: Who exactly are you?
- The Doctor: Well, that's the question.
- Sycorax Leader: I demand to know who you are!
- The Doctor: I don't know! See that's the thing. I'm the Doctor. But beyond that I just don't know. I literally do not know who I am. It's all untested. Am I funny? Am I sarcastic? Sexy? Right old misery? Life and soul? Right-handed, left-handed? A gambler, a fighter, a coward, a traitor, a liar, a nervous wreck? I mean judging by the evidence I've certainly got a gob.
